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Dear Muheto, Come to Uganda - We Shall Give You A Road

The See-Man -->
Dear Muheto, Come to Uganda - We Shall Give You A Road
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These guys need to focus on naming gorillas and allow beautiful things to drink. And drive. How do you give a girl a car for free and then complain that she knocked one palm tree under the influence of free drinks?

SATIRE | I have been in so much pain since learning that our south-western neighbours yanked their most beautiful asset since 2022 from a certain stupor and locked her up.

Just like that.

Can you imagine the indiginity? She is even called Divine. How can a nation be so callous to such a beauty when we are here dreaming of a sexpedition to Kigali?

I looked at the pictures of Muheto and I was like, "this one, we Ugandans would drink her bathwater", yet in Rwanda she was being goosemarched by gun-toting cops with her hands in handcuff.

Why is Rwanda showing off as if they invented the law on Mount Sinai? Here, we have seen chaps drive on road islands or in the opposite direction using the wrong lane. The world did not end.

Instead, Harry Sagara went to the bar, exercised his right to arm-wrestling by lifting a glass of the frosty one from the table to his mouth repeatedly until he ran out of cash.

Then he drove home, knocked the NRM government's most prized treasure called potholes so many times along the way until he got there in one terrible package.

We have KCCA bringing down trees along the streets to render birds restless and nestless and then there are the Rwandans shouting that Muheto knocked down one palm tree. Seriously, what do these guys take life for?

She is called Divine Muheto, for crying out loud. Divine Bow, and a bow holds an arrow. She merely let loose one pint of arrow and the Rwanda police is making a mountain of it.

These guys need to focus on naming gorillas and allow beautiful things to drink. And drive. How do you give a girl a car for free and then complain that she knocked one palm tree under the influence of free drinks?

Divine Muheto did not ask for that car, you guys gave it to her. Now you want her to possess a driver permit, did you ask her if she had one when you were gifting her the ride?

President Isaaac Ssemakadde should intervene. We need some table banged in in Kigali and Executive Order No.3 signed off chap-chap.

For starters, we should release Sipapa to go and show Rwanda how to behave on the road. He got a PhD in being a nuisance on the road and he has never once been charged with a traffic offence.

Poor Muheto, while we are longing to make her our heart's wallpaper, Rwandans are cuffing her just like that.

A Divine thing deserves proper treatment and we are ready to give her everything here. We shall even make her drive her car upside down as long as she doesn't knock Sevo's cows.

On days she goes to drink, we shall have police escorts do the honours with sirens from the bar to her... sorry, my home. Because she is not a Muganda, the Speaker will treat her well and allow Lumu to draft a Bill that gives our Divine Muheto every bliss Rwanda is denying her.

Divine, they want to jail you for some small things. Here we would have taken you to Nakasero or Kampala Hospital, applied some bandage and placed you on ICU where no police would access you without express permission for State House.

Then when you leave after you get bored of drinking wine in the hospital bed, we would call a presser and blame the City Authority for erecting streetlight reckless and planting tree in your path.

Rwanda has no clever to see all that, we Ugandans will do so much for you.

By the way, why isn't Gen MK tweeting something about Divine Muheto? He used to spend a lot of time jazzing about such beauties. This is the time we need him the most.

Let's go and rescue Divine Muheto!

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